Building on the metaphor from the previous post, I am going to try and illustrate how a computer with "DID" would come into existence, i.e. in what circumstances would a normal computer needed to become a "DID" computer.
Here is a story to illustrate it.
Suppose you are a computer that is having a certain OS (for example Windows, but it might be Mac OS or Linux as well:)).
From the day one when you were bought you got in contact with malware (such as computer viruses, worms, trojan horses etc) which would be making you unable to function the way you want and the environment expects you to.... If you were not lucky to have the ability to dissociate, oops, to multi boot, so you can become a dual-boot, triple-boot etc computer.
Your computer can switch from Windows "personality" to Mac OS X "personality" to Linux "personality" to Unix "personality" etc, depending on which "personality" is having problems with the environment or applications right now.
This is how you can still function normally when the other personality is having problems due to bad programing that can cause the other OS (alter) to re-experience re-traumatisation because of malware.
"DID" computers really have multiple OSes (operating systems) inside.
They are not like anyone other who can merely pretend to have another OS by emulating it (as in virtualization) within the one and only OS they happen to have - as normal computer (singletons) are only able to and the dummiest of them then think that this is what multi-boots are all about. No, it is not virtualization - the multi-boots can do any of such virtual sockpuppeting within any of the OSes, of course, but first of all they have real multiple OSes inside.
End of the story titled DID for Dummies (especially for those at Wikipedia such as DreamGuy)
Safety and control
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that's it! I have multiple operating system disorder - great post Samo.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the effect of installing Norton Anti-Virus to deal with malware? sort of after-the-horse-has-bolted... what do you think? prescribed medication?
x
@ BTC - thank you from the bottom of my heart (or, should I say from bottom of my BIOS and EEPROM, see this post heh heh :) ) for letting me know that it is not only me, all alone :), thinking this metaphor has a merit. Really - thanks BTC again.
ReplyDeleteHow I see the procedure (also called "recovery")?
First off, yes, buying a decent antivirus program and a firewall in order to protect yourself from getting under the influence of new trojan horses, worms and viruses.
The second step is to go to your own search-and-destroy mission, i.e. in order to find old malware that happen to wait or run - within each and every OS individually)
The third step is to beyond therapy in narrower sense. It is sometimes called personal growth, even spiritual one if you will, but in fact it is extending each OS's repertoire of applications so that all your OSes eventually converge, being all able to do everything that the other OSes can do. So that no one is limited to the extreme emotions, anymore, but is able to feel and express the softer ones, as well (in other words, the whole spectrum of humanly possible emotions - from the most extreme ones, to the most soft ones, and everything in between!).
@ BTC - are you asking me the bold alter, as well? how I see the procedure?
ReplyDeleteFirstly, yes, buying a decent antivirus program and a firewall in order to protect yourself from getting under the influence of new trojan horses, worms and viruses.
Secondly, search-and-destroy mission in order to find old malware that happens to be waiting or running within (each and every) OS individually!
Thirdly (in fact the three 'steps' go in cycles that move to the next level after each cycle, going both deeper and higher) is not therapy, anymore.
The third step is called personal growth, even spiritual one if you will, but in fact it is extending each OS's repertoire of applications so that all your OSes eventually converge, being all able to do everything that the other OSes can do.
So that no one is limited to the extreme emotions only, anymore.
But is able to feel and express the softer ones, as well.
In other words: the whole spectrum of humanly possible emotions - from the most extreme ones, to the most soft ones, and everything in between!.
@ Sams all - yes, am checking in with everyone :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe we can't always follow or "get" each other but that's no reason not to keep trying to communicate.
This metaphor raises so many issues.
ReplyDeleteIt's a great metaphor. By placing the context into the technical (non-emotive) world, it has allowed those of us who are extremely compartmentalised understand it. We can also see how it can be applied to the emotive and non-emotive ones.
We see the different OS' as a mix of open source and proprietary. Some can be easily manipulated/re-written by various programmers - some re-writing is positive, some negative.
Our guardians are the equivalent of the malware, adware, anit-viral programs. They seek out the danger and try to minimise or eliminate it.
We were curious as to how you saw the integration or joining process. We agree with the concept that each alter (OS) needs to expand their repertoire of emotions to become more balanced within each part before there can be a joining or integration. What is curious is how this process could occur.
In some respects, our concept of this is hampered by our current level of healing - we don't know what it would look like. Based on an instinct, I agree that the step of personal growth is pivotal. But I wonder if this should be step four, with the therapy process as step three? Or does therapy give the skills required to carry out the search and destroy missions as described by Sam's bold and creative alter?
Again, your posting has created much to reflect on and consider.
Kind regards
One
@ One
ReplyDeleteRe: "Or does therapy give the skills required to carry out the search and destroy missions as described by Sam's bold and creative alter?"
As far as I, the bold alter, am concerned, what I need from the therapy is exactly what you asked above and nothing else. I want the skills to carry out the search and destroy missions on my own when I want it and the way I want it.
The littles however probably need some soothing to be done by therapist, in the beginning, as well, and I know the host has learned some soothing skills from his therapists.
When writing my first reply to BTC above, I must have been under the influence of the bold alter's too much narrow a repertoire of emotions making him unable to accept the fact that *some* building blocks the bad alters are made from, *can* still be (re-)arranged and used for good purposes and thus need not to be sought out to be destroyed only.
ReplyDeleteLike atom bomb's building blocks can be examined and its energy used for good purposes (such as electricity generators), similarly the bad, "sadistic" (morbid hatred) viruses' building blocks were allowed to show themselves here <-- click here to see the build blocks of an alter whose repertoire of emotions was limited to only bad, extreme morbid hatred that nobody was allowed to examine at all, be acknowledged as being able to do harm but also to be examined and re-arranged for good purposes.
Decent therapist needs to be able to give us the skills to examine the building blocks including viruses', (re-)arranged them, and use them for good purposes.
I hope you don't mind this slightly wandering reply Sam the bold and creative alter and Samo, but both of your replies above have again raised interesting concepts.
ReplyDeleteSam the bold and creative alter, you mention that you see the role of the therapist is to give you the tools to enable you to carry out the healing process in your own time and way. I couldn't agree with you more. One of the key aspects of therapy should be to empower the client. It is impossible to have the therapist do the work for us, and any healing must be within the clients needs, ethics, morals, beliefs and time.
The second point you raise is that each alter may want or need different things. This again is another point that I totally agree with. My requirements from a therapist are minimal as we are not yet at a point where we have the strength to cope with what I protect. However, Sophie needs a great deal from the therapist - safety, skills to learn to cope with daily life, someone who is impartial to the situation to talk to etc.
But I think most interesting is B's needs in therapy. When we were first diagnosed, B's role was purely to ensure that we all sounded the same and that we didn't overwhelm the host with too much information or emotion. Since that time, we've lost contact with the host and B's role in this life has changed dramatically. She is now our fairly constant fronting state. She still acts as a filter for the others, but she has changed and grown rapidly over the last few years. Her needs from therapy have also changed.
These changes indicate that each one of us has various needs at any one time. To complicate this, you'll have each one within the system needing totally different things at any one time. In therapy sessions where this is obvious, it is a true indication of the skill and empathy of the therapist.
Samo, I appreciate the way in which you explain the concept of allowing and encouraging the growth of the ones who have the extreme emotions. It is easy to forget that the ones holding those emotions have been doing so for many years. That needs to honoured and respected, with the ones holding those emotions given the chance to change and grow.
Kind regards
One
Thank you for your reply, One!
ReplyDeleteI think it's incredibly beautiful experience to be able to see the alters (each and every one) that were holding and been narrowed by the extreme emotions, changing and growing in front of our eyes, be it over the years, or be it over night (when a breakthrough happens). It's humbling experience, almost sacred one.
The bold alter wants me to say "It IS sacred - because each alter comes to be able to encompass the whole spectrum of humanly possible emotions, thus becoming whole and what is whole is also holy or sacred".
He's probably right :)